# "ABOUT" - What to present ?



## daArch (Mar 15, 2008)

Having been "given" a day off due to non-delivery of paper (why do I continue to believe people about delivery dates?), I am once again struggling over a re-vamping of my "credentials" page. 

Obviously a listing of past "accomplishments", positions, and awards is just another version of the high school yearbook "brag sheet". No one gives a flying fark. 

I've tried all sorts of angles and attacks, but I just can't into a rhythm that would be interesting to a potential customer.

*HELP !*

Give me ideas, please. Steer me in a better direction. Tell me what will catch a customers interest. Give me some links of good "About" pages. Point me to a person who talks about this. Any suggestions and ideas will be helpful.

This ain't writers block, this is mental constipation. I need some prunes.

thanks


----------



## PressurePros (May 6, 2007)

Bill, listing accomplishments on the about us is fine but it may be best to do that in story fashion versus bullet points. "About us" is effective when written in casual style, from the owner to the reader.. fireside chat if you will. Tell me the history of your company, who you are. Some people will use the family angel. From what i have read, that is also effective. 

Especially in your case, you are trying to relay the feeling of personalized service and expertise that only an owner/operator can give. 

Instead of:
• Outstanding Customer Service

Perhaps:
I learned long ago that I prefer the trust and personal attention of a company whose owner is involved in their business. This is how I have run my business for the last 20 years. I want my customers to feel confident that they can talk to me to quickly resolve any concerns they may have. From the moment we initially meet to discuss your project to the final wipe down of your walls, I am available. This ensures you receive exactly the results you are paying for. 

etc, etc


----------



## daArch (Mar 15, 2008)

Thanks Ken,

I am sorely attempting to present my history/qualifications/philosophy in that "fireside chat" manner.

But you know me, it starts getting bogged down with vocabulary and minutia. 

I'm having a hard time focusing on what people want to read. And presenting it in a style that will hold interest. 

I am now reading other "biographies" trying adopt a better style.


----------



## WarlinePainting (May 22, 2011)

Bill, I was shocked after launching our website to discover that the About us section was one of the highest traffic areas of our website. You are smart not to ignore this area. We are constantly revamping this section and testing it for better results. I have has surprising good results by even having my google ads land here instead of my home page. 

Ken's right again, make it personal. Connect with your customer. Don't just list credentials speak directly to the customer to tell them why you do this and why you are a guy they should call. Connect with your community as well.


----------



## daArch (Mar 15, 2008)

Heidi,

I see you have many sub-pages to your "About us". Is there a particular section that you feel gets more traffic and makes the biggest impact.

I like the style of the two profiles I read - Yours and Warren's. 


OOOOPS, gotta get into Boston for an 11:00 estimate. I'll pick this up later.


----------



## WarlinePainting (May 22, 2011)

Bill, I took a look at your credentials page. I would consider changing this to a paragraph format and include a photo of you working. In the writing mention your commitment to NGPP and then link that to a new page where you specifically discuss this. Google LOVES content and the more pages within your site and the more links within your site to those pages, the better.


----------



## WarlinePainting (May 22, 2011)

The Warline Team easily gets the most traffic. This is the one area that you can focus on you and talk directly (write in the first person) to your customer. Every other area of your website should be about the customer first but here is your chance to shine and toot your own horn. You can still entice the customer this way as Ken wrote in his sample above.

Since you are a company that is all about you, use I. Because we are a team, I use "we" in all of our first person writing.


----------



## cappaint (May 24, 2011)

I like to have a portfolio and a good rap.

I do before and after pictures of each job with a glowing, written testimonial at the end of each job...they put their numbers down so it also doubles as references.


----------



## daArch (Mar 15, 2008)

Heidi,

I SOOOOO much agree with the basics that you and Ken explain. I am just having a TERRIBLE time getting it SUCCINCTLY on "paper". When it comes to writing about myself, I suck. 

I do disagree with some particulars, but that's minor compared to the gestalt


----------



## Coat It! (Dec 3, 2010)

Bill, something else to consider. Most About pages are written in 3rd person, but let's be honest, everyone knows you're the one writing it! With that in mind, consider writing in the first person.

It's slightly less professional but a lot more personal. This works especially well if you want to tell your story. Just my $.02, but I lean towards a more personal approach on About pages when possible.


----------



## vermontpainter (Dec 24, 2007)

I dont think it has to be first person. In fact, I would be happy to pen a "About Bill" page. For a small fee. :whistling2:


----------



## daArch (Mar 15, 2008)

vermontpainter said:


> I dont think it has to be first person. In fact, I would be happy to pen a "About Bill" page. For a small fee. :whistling2:


How much are you bidding for that pleasure?

I have a feeling this auction could net me some $$$$$$


----------



## Bender (Aug 10, 2008)

vermontpainter said:


> I dont think it has to be first person. In fact, I would be happy to pen a "About Bill" page. For a small fee. :whistling2:


I will pay the fee.


----------



## daArch (Mar 15, 2008)

Coat It! said:


> Bill, something else to consider. Most About pages are written in 3rd person, but let's be honest, everyone knows you're the one writing it! With that in mind, consider writing in the first person.
> 
> It's slightly less professional but a lot more personal. This works especially well if you want to tell your story. Just my $.02, but I lean towards a more personal approach on About pages when possible.


I FULLY understand what you are saying, but I have this voice in my ear, it's Bill Dunnell, three times my english teacher in HS. And he is saying all sorts of negatory things about that. 

I will say, when I saw him at our 40 (?) reunion, he had softened his stance on many of the "truths" in writing he taught us.


----------



## WarlinePainting (May 22, 2011)

Your old English teacher is probably also still typing two spaces after a period too (and probably on a typewriter)


----------



## daArch (Mar 15, 2008)

WarlinePainting said:


> Your old English teacher is probably also still typing two spaces after a period too (and probably on a typewriter)


Maybe, but I know he has Internet service up at The Hovel. I have exchanged a limited number emails with him over the years, and other classmates do so MUCH more often. 

So I gotta assume, he at least HAS a computer and knows how to use it, although, he is a traditionalist, so I wouldn't be surprised if he had that typewriter still.

But we were not often familiarized with his typing skills, most every written word from him to me was penned with a red pencil ! Things like, *NO ! * , * WRONG !! *, * Don't use GET ! * and maybe, once in a blue moon, , *YES!*


----------

