# Advice on future plans-It's a female thing



## Happee_grrl

First off, I just want to say that I have been gleaning information from you all for years now, but have never become a member. Love this forum. There is so much information here, it has helped me immensely. Thank you all so much. I have a great business because of you!

That being said, I have a dilemma. I think I'm in the minority here, being a woman, but maybe I can find some advice here? Recently married, my husband and I are starting to talk about having kids. I don't want this to affect my business too much, but I know I will have to take some downtime. I am thinking of planning my pregnancy around the slow seasons. (Things really slow down between October through April-May here in SD.) 

Any thoughts, concerns and advice would be greatly appreciated.


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## CApainter

Welcome to the forum!

I don't have any advice to offer, but congratulations on your business, new marriage, and prospects for a baby!


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## RH

Welcome to the forum HG. Always nice to have another lady join in.

Not sure how much advice I can give about when to schedule your pregnancy but as far as painting goes; I only do interior work so we stay busy pretty much all year round. When you in your busy exterior season just keep selling and lining up interior stuff for the "off season" and you should be able to stay fairly busy. I think many just don't bother to do so because they have too much going on and it's easy to forget that those lean months are never that far away.

Dan


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## aaron61

Your first post is to ask a bunch of painters when you should have your baby???
My God painters are weird


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## ReNt A PaInTeR

First of all make sure he is going to stick around after the baby is born. We waited like 6-7 years before we decided to have a baby. 

It takes lots of time, wife is currently working full time and going to school full time. Doing homework until 1 a.m every day and all weekends. make sure you have a plan and lots of diapers.


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## Happee_grrl

*Clarification*

Okay, I need to clarify a little...

First off, I'm not really questioning when to "schedule" a pregnancy. I've got that part figured out. Husband is a farmer, so it coincides nicely with combining/harvesting, planting, etc.

My concern is, all one ever reads about is "you shouldn't paint much while pregnant," bla bla bla. I'm a very active woman, and when I was pregnant with my first son, my dr told me that I shouldn't start any activities that I wasn't doing prior to pregnancy. (I break ponies and ride regularly.) If he said I can keep riding ponies...Then why can't I keep painting?

Obviously I'm going to take the same precautions I do now...Safety harnesses when up high, eye protection and ventilation/painting masks. Is there any reason why I can't keep painting up until it's completely awkward for me? 

And yes, painters are weird. I talk about paint in my sleep. I cherish my paint chips/palettes. And my hometown stores always call me when there's going to be a paint/paint supply sale.


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## Oden

I can't imagine how having a baby could not effect ur business much. Having kids effects everything much. at least IMO it should.


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## RH

Happee_grrl said:


> Okay, I need to clarify a little...
> 
> First off, I'm not really questioning when to "schedule" a pregnancy. I've got that part figured out. Husband is a farmer, so it coincides nicely with combining/harvesting, planting, etc.
> 
> My concerns, all one ever reads about is "you shouldn't paint much while pregnant," bla bla bla. I'm a very active woman, and when I was pregnant with my first son, my dr told me that I shouldn't start any activities that I wasn't doing prior to pregnancy. (I break ponies and ride regularly.) If he said I can keep riding ponies...Then why can't I keep painting?
> 
> Obviously I'm going to take the same precautions I do now...Safety harnesses when up high, eye protection and ventilation/painting masks. Is there any reason why I can't keep painting up until it's completely awkward for me?
> 
> 
> And yes, painters are weird. I talk about paint in my sleep. I cherish my paint chips/palettes. And my hometown stores always call me when there's going to be a paint/paint supply sale.


I was just kidding with you myself - as for the rest of these jokers, who knows. 

Although we are constantly told how "safe" many of today's products are, I still have to wonder how many we will come to eventually learn were much more hazardous than ever suspected. Personally, I would recommend being overly cautious about any kind of exposure - especially during the early months. I just don't think it would be worth anything to potentially expose a developing fetus to even a fraction of what we daily encounter on the job. JMHO.


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## Damon T

I would suggest taking at least the first five or six years off after having the baby to stay home with it. I'm just old fashioned tho and that's how we did it here. I'm sure I'll get some flak for that. 

I took my six year old to a bid yesterday while on our way to the grandparents house and he was literally bouncing off their walls! I was relieved we got out of there without breaking something.


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## ReNt A PaInTeR

Damon T said:


> I would suggest taking at least the first five or six years off after having the baby to stay home with it. I'm just old fashioned tho and that's how we did it here. I'm sure I'll get some flak for that.
> 
> I took my six year old to a bid yesterday while on our way to the grandparents house and he was literally bouncing off their walls! I was relieved we got out of there without breaking something.


To stay home with IT?? :blink:


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## mudbone

Happee_grrl said:


> First off, I just want to say that I have been gleaning information from you all for years now, but have never become a member. Love this forum. There is so much information here, it has helped me immensely. Thank you all so much. I have a great business because of you!
> 
> That being said, I have a dilemma. I think I'm in the minority here, being a woman, but maybe I can find some advice here? Recently married, my husband and I are starting to talk about having kids. I don't want this to affect my business too much, but I know I will have to take some downtime. I am thinking of planning my pregnancy around the slow seasons. (Things really slow down between October through April-May here in SD.)
> 
> Any thoughts, concerns and advice would be greatly appreciated.


Glad we make you Happee!:whistling2:


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## daArch

First, let it be known that I'm a tad old fashioned. I believe a child should be nurtured and raised by a parent, its OWN parent.

Luckily both the WW (that's The Wonderful Wendy for you new comer) and I were of the same mindset, the only question was WHO was going to be the stay at home parent. I won because being self employed, she had a LOT better benefits. Hardest job I ever enjoyed. I worked when I had jobs on the weekends.

It was good also, because being a mother, when she got home from work, she still had the motivation to spend a lot of time with him. We also believed that parents should outnumber children (she was the youngest of 3 girls, I the youngest of 3 boys - we saw what happened to OUR parents :whistling2: )

We musta done something right. He turned out good. No drugs, no alcohol, no cigarettes, graduated with high honors, got a 1/2 scholarship in the honors program at Hofstra, graduated double major cum laude. Far better than the WW or I. 

You can always go back to work once he/she is in school. Take the time to LIVE being a parent. It's NOT a hobby :thumbup:


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## mudbone

Damon T said:


> I would suggest taking at least the first five or six years off after having the baby to stay home with it. I'm just old fashioned tho and that's how we did it here. I'm sure I'll get some flak for that.
> 
> I took my six year old to a bid yesterday while on our way to the grandparents house and he was literally bouncing off their walls! I was relieved we got out of there without breaking something.


Bouncing baby boy.


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## Happee_grrl

Damon T said:


> I would suggest taking at least the first five or six years off after having the baby to stay home with it. I'm just old fashioned tho and that's how we did it here. I'm sure I'll get some flak for that.
> 
> I took my six year old to a bid yesterday while on our way to the grandparents house and he was literally bouncing off their walls! I was relieved we got out of there without breaking something.


Ok...I have to admit an eye roll here. Would you give up your business, that you've worked very hard to build, to stay home for 5-6 years?

I do not intend on staying home. And even if I did that, this is SD, where stay-at-home farm moms still work every day. My life entails running farm machinery, and feeding livestock, and I guarantee you, that even if I was a stay-at-home mom, that babe would be in the tractor or feeding bucket calves with me. My 7 yr old spent quite a bit of time with me and my husband in the combines and tractors. When he wasn't paying attention to the farm work, he was reading or playing. I don't see anything wrong with this, either. I spent many hours in a tractor or in the dairy barn, myself.

Latex and acrylic paint, especially low VOC are very safe, whereas the biggest concern would be "occupational paint," ie. automotive, and implement, and oil-based, which frankly, I don't use a whole lot anymore. And when I do, it's gloves and masks all the way.


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## mudbone

Happee_grrl said:


> Ok...I have to admit an eye roll here. Would you give up your business, that you've worked very hard to build, to stay home for 5-6 years?
> 
> I do not intend on staying home. And even if I did that, this is SD, where stay-at-home farm moms still work every day. My life entails running farm machinery, and feeding livestock, and I guarantee you, that even if I was a stay-at-home mom, that babe would be in the tractor or feeding bucket calves with me. My 7 yr old spent quite a bit of time with me and my husband in the combines and tractors. When he wasn't paying attention to the farm work, he was reading or playing. I don't see anything wrong with this, either. I spent many hours in a tractor or in the dairy barn, myself.
> 
> Latex and acrylic paint, especially low VOC are very safe, whereas the biggest concern would be "occupational paint," ie. automotive, and implement, and oil-based, which frankly, I don't use a whole lot anymore. And when I do, it's gloves and masks all the way.


Paint your wagon!


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## chrisn

ReNt A PaInTeR said:


> First of all make sure he is going to stick around after the baby is born. We waited like 6-7 years before we decided to have a baby.
> 
> It takes lots of time, wife is currently working full time and going to school full time. Doing homework until 1 a.m every day and all weekends. make sure you have a plan and lots of diapers.


 
that's a lot of time:blink:


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## slinger58

daArch said:


> First, let it be known that I'm a tad old fashioned. I believe a child should be nurtured and raised by a parent, its OWN parent.
> 
> Luckily both the WW (that's The Wonderful Wendy for you new comer) and I were of the same mindset, the only question was WHO was going to be the stay at home parent. I won because being self employed, she had a LOT better benefits. Hardest job I ever enjoyed. I worked when I had jobs on the weekends.
> 
> It was good also, because being a mother, when she got home from work, she still had the motivation to spend a lot of time with him. We also believed that parents should outnumber children (she was the youngest of 3 girls, I the youngest of 3 boys - we saw what happened to OUR parents :whistling2: )
> 
> We musta done something right. He turned out good. No drugs, no alcohol, no cigarettes, graduated with high honors, got a 1/2 scholarship in the honors program at Hofstra, graduated double major cum laude. Far better than the WW or I.
> 
> You can always go back to work once he/she is in school. Take the time to LIVE being a parent. It's NOT a hobby :thumbup:


A side of you I didn't know, Bill. :thumbup:


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## mudbone

slinger58 said:


> A side of you I didn't know, Bill. :thumbup:


Heartfelt for sure!:yes:


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## Monstertruck

Happee_grrl said:


> First off, I just want to say that I have been gleaning information from you all for years now, but have never become a member. Love this forum. There is so much information here, it has helped me immensely. Thank you all so much. I have a great business because of you!
> 
> That being said, I have a dilemma. I think I'm in the minority here, being a woman, but maybe I can find some advice here? *Recently married, my husband and I are starting to talk about having kids*. I don't want this to affect my business too much, but I know I will have to take some downtime. I am thinking of planning my pregnancy around the slow seasons. (Things really slow down between October through April-May here in SD.)
> 
> Any thoughts, concerns and advice would be greatly appreciated.


I hope you talked about having kids prior to getting married.:blink:

My values are different than yours.
To me, being a good mother/parent should be more important than a business. That requires huge commitment and time. So does running a succesful business. Very few people can do both well. 

I hope you are one of them!:notworthy:


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## daArch

slinger58 said:


> A side of you I didn't know, Bill. :thumbup:


Not too many things I take seriously - but that responsibility was.


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## bklynboy1970

Damon T said:


> I would suggest taking at least the first five or six years off after having the baby to stay home with it. I'm just old fashioned tho and that's how we did it here. I'm sure I'll get some flak for that. I took my six year old to a bid yesterday while on our way to the grandparents house and he was literally bouncing off their walls! I was relieved we got out of there without breaking something.


 WoW...Rough crowd!! Just saying...


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## Pretty Handy Mandi

Ahem! Hi HG, and welcome. And way to go, you paintin' farm girl. That is some super hard work, so props to that, and being a mama, woot.

(Hey, my ancestor is Cyrus Hall McCormick 


I think this thread has gotten derailed and I wanna help get it back on track. *Your question was not how to raise your child. You can already handle that. And he or she will be just fine, so long as there is ample love, regardless of how long during a day you are at their side... Kids do not need to be glued to mommy or daddy. That is a recipe for a brat. (Hello individualism)

I,too, often wonder how I am going to take things as a painter when I am ready to have another child. 
Just hire someone, and you can stay busy running things. .. it is the best answer I could come up with.


And btw, I started painting when my son was 14mths. old. He is now 7 years old. I have been a very busy mom, very long hours, but not too busy to tell him everyday that he is Awesome and I love him so much.

He is in the first grade. Just got accepted into the gifted learning program. He has an i.q. of 151 

Woot! So opinions aside, on how to raise a child, I think it is totally doable to run a painting company and a family including an infant. While pregnant, only moderate exposure would be best. (Um, google pregnant painter, they say it is therapeutic)

Most important time, I would think, is the first few months, devote that to breastfeeding and definitely take some time off then.


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## Happee_grrl

Pretty Handy Mandi said:


> Ahem! Hi HG, and welcome. And way to go, you paintin' farm girl. That is some super hard work, so props to that, and being a mama, woot.
> 
> (Hey, my ancestor is Cyrus Hall McCormick
> 
> 
> I think this thread has gotten derailed and I wanna help get it back on track. *Your question was not how to raise your child. You can already handle that. And he or she will be just fine, so long as there is ample love, regardless of how long during a day you are at their side... Kids do not need to be glued to mommy or daddy. That is a recipe for a brat. (Hello individualism)
> 
> I,too, often wonder how I am going to take things as a painter when I am ready to have another child.
> Just hire someone, and you can stay busy running things. .. it is the best answer I could come up with.
> 
> 
> And btw, I started painting when my son was 14mths. old. He is now 7 years old. I have been a very busy mom, very long hours, but not too busy to tell him everyday that he is Awesome and I love him so much.
> 
> He is in the first grade. Just got accepted into the gifted learning program. He has an i.q. of 151
> 
> Woot! So opinions aside, on how to raise a child, I think it is totally doable to run a painting company and a family including an infant. While pregnant, only moderate exposure would be best. (Um, google pregnant painter, they say it is therapeutic)
> 
> Most important time, I would think, is the first few months, devote that to breastfeeding and definitely take some time off then.


Mandi: Thank you so much. And yay on being a descendant of McCormick! I am quite familiar with him! My only claim to fame is that my great aunt was the first white child born in the county, and the first woman to have a homestead in the county. (There's a wee bit of feminist individualism in my veins.)

I've been a single mom for the last 5 years, put myself through college and ran my business all at the same time. Yes there are long hours, but you're right. You always seem to make time for family. My Rob is in the 1st grade too! He reads at a 5th grade level. It's strange getting a note from the librarian stating that he cannot check out books from above his 1st grade level. Poor kid. Sounds like you've got a smart one on your hands too. 

Thank you for your advice. I appreciate your honest opinion. I have a great support system. I think it is definitely doable, the more I consider it. And even though breast is best, I just can't do it. I milked too many cows growing up, and can't look at a breast pump without imagining putting a milker on a Holstein. :no:


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## mudbone

Breast milk is that sorta like milk paint?:blink:


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## RH

Have to admit that I never thought I'd see a discussion about breast milk on PT - not that there's anything wrong with it.


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## CApainter

RH said:


> Have to admit that I never thought I'd see a discussion about breast milk on PT - not that there's anything wrong with it.


Next, we'll have requests for a maternity zone. Don't expect me to participate if we do.



...gulp:blink:...waiting for the backlash.


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## daArch

CApainter said:


> Next, we'll have requests for a maternity zone. Don't expect me to participate if we do.
> 
> 
> 
> ...gulp:blink:...waiting for the backlash.


I don't mind a maternity zone, as long as I am banned from it


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## Pretty Handy Mandi

mudbone said:


> Breast milk is that sorta like milk paint?:blink:


Thanks PT guys.  hehe 
My insidious plan worked.

I knew I could distract everyone with the mention of breast milk.

See how awesomely that worked, HG. Total focus shift.


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## ReNt A PaInTeR

mudbone said:


> Breast milk is that sorta like milk paint?:blink:


I think it looks more like Zinsser Gardz.


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## Jmayspaint

ReNt A PaInTeR said:


> I think it looks more like Zinsser Gardz.



It tastes a whole lot better than Gardz. Yummy


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## Pretty Handy Mandi

.....


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## slinger58

If I was ever in this thread, I'm out now.:blink::thumbup:


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## Damon T

RH said:


> Have to admit that I never thought I'd see a discussion about breast milk on PT - not that there's anything wrong with it.


My wife is a midwife. We can keep this thing going for weeks.


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## PRECISIONVANCOUVER

Damon T said:


> I would suggest taking at least the first five or six years off after having the baby to stay home with it. I'm just old fashioned tho and that's how we did it here. I'm sure I'll get some flak for that.
> 
> I took my six year old to a bid yesterday while on our way to the grandparents house and he was literally bouncing off their walls! I was relieved we got out of there without breaking something.


I aggree 100%


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## HJ61

I think you'd be able to work without to many limitations during the pregnancy.

My advice would be to really limit exposure during first 3 months. Don't let anything toxic touch your skin, ie: Wear latex gloves when handling any paint or solvents for straining, cleaning etc. Use those white gloves that breathe when painting. And bring lots of food each day for obvious reasons! You're clients will need to understand that you may have to cut and run if baby comes early of course.

Once child is born there are so many different stages of life, you'll need to roll with it. First 3 months you may not have enough sleep to function safely. Keep baby off job sites, the environment when sanding or painting is not conducive. Ideally, you'd have a specialty that you could charge more for and have to spend less time working for your income. Like woodwork or railing finishing with waterborne laquer, faux finishes or wall coverings. The other option is if you can craftsmanship and skill set from clients you can raise your charge out rate as you only have so much time you can supply. Nice thing is you may be able to pick and choose the work you take on. You would just price things on the high side and let the clients decide what work you will doing. I think this could be better than hiring and having employee issues to deal with as well. Although, hiring a helper while you were on site to supervise would speed up your turnover of projects.

Once your child starts school you can work while schools on. Good luck, it's just life, everyone deals with all these same issues no matter what job they have. At least if you are self employed you have a modicum of control.


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## daArch

Does any one else feel that after 21 months, the OP may have had a baby ?

Unless of course she was an elephant. :whistling2:


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## JLC

Personally - I would have just gotten a puppy !!!!!! (just sayin')


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