# Wood Quandry Part Deux



## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

Okay, the clients are on opposite sides as to how to proceed. To help them decide I get to do a sample! I’ve got an idea, we’ll see if it works. So here’s a step by step so you can discover along with me that I probably should’ve said no. 

I started by choosing a base color, in this case it’s Ben Moore Semolina. I added some check marks with a check roller using some tube acrylic burnt umber and Faux Effects Faux Creme Clear. 

The next step was a very thin oil glaze with burnt umber and burnt sienna. Stripey. 


vvvvvvvvvvvvvv


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

Sideways of course.

Next step I decided to put a mixture of the Golden Interference Gold(Fine) tube acrylic with some faux creme. I just slopped it on there and gave it a few swipes with my trusty squeegee. I also blended it out with the badger brush.
I think you can see it in the center.


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

Upside down. JFC.

Next, I started laying in some grain using a super thin oil glaze and burnt umber. I overworked the right side trying to get fancy and got all sorts of crap in there, so don’t look at that part.


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

Here’s a sample I had laying around and did a little testing. On the sample I’m doing now I used the center to put the interference paint under the grain layers. It might not work but I still have the side areas to test the interference paint closer to the top layer.


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## stelzerpaintinginc. (May 9, 2012)

You're on another level FauxLynn. I say that having accidentally looked at the right side, (even though you told me not to).

Keep us posted.


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## IKnowNothing (Oct 15, 2020)

stuff going on there. . said:


> *You're on another level FauxLynn*. I say that having accidentally looked at the right side, (even though you told me not to).
> 
> Keep us posted.


Agreed!!!...and I think that FauxLynnn could easily retire as a millionaire just by putting a fancy frame on her work table covered with all that Picasso craziness.


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

It looks ok, just don’t think it’s going to flash the way it should. Much of what I’ve done since last post is just layers of the interference and layers of figure, tone. I put an isolation layer of urethane after each step and things are taking forever to dry.


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

Welp, those are out of order and I’m not going to even try to fix it. 
This afternoon I went back in and added more lines that are crisper, I think I blended it out too much before. Then, to my surprise there’s a lot more raw umber and cad red in here. Adding those two colors brought it closer to spot on. 

I think I’m going to put another layer of interference on there, maybe some chatter marks, idk.


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)




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## IKnowNothing (Oct 15, 2020)

fauxlynn said:


> View attachment 107103


SURE SURE, you just posting photos of real wood pieces trying to impress us so you can become a Mod here.

VERY IMPRESSIVE WORK !!! Love it. 

Seriously, consider framing your work bench top and sell it to some wealthy customer.
It would look great as an abstract art work hanging on the wall.


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

IKnowNothing said:


> SURE SURE, you just posting photos of real wood pieces trying to impress us so you can become a Mod here.
> 
> VERY IMPRESSIVE WORK !!! Love it.
> 
> ...


I don’t know whether to laugh at you or tell you to buzz off. But I DO know that YouKnowNothing about art.
Thanks for the compliment.


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## IKnowNothing (Oct 15, 2020)

fauxlynn said:


> I don’t know whether to laugh at you or tell you to buzz off. But I DO know that YouKnowNothing about art.
> Thanks for the compliment.


What's there to know about abstract art.
Nothing. It's abstract. Everything goes. No rules like in other styles of art, (paintings). 

I'm imagining some of your work table pieces framed in gold leafed ornamental picture frames (for shock of styles effect), and other in very modern picture frames. 

I think I know what I am talking about since I have seen such pieces of abstract art work coming from work benches (of a furniture spray paint shop) 
framed and displayed in a fancy home.
It looked stunning and very 'visually involving' because of all the shapes and colors.
Your work tables are even better because of hand work on them (not sprayed), all those natural brush strokes, more artsy that way.

Take a look at this, (of course imagine the piece of "wood" in the middle removed from it), just your work bench with all it's Picasso insanity for eyes to see and wonder over it, trying to figure it out what's going on there.
STUNNING...!!! 

You know nothing about marketing natural masterpieces to wealthy clientele :smile:


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

Okay, now I’m sure you’re full of it. Picasso insanity? Those two words don’t belong in the same sentence. 


FAIL

Anyway, no millionaire works of art here. Just bread on my table.


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## IKnowNothing (Oct 15, 2020)

fauxlynn said:


> Okay, now I’m sure you’re full of it. Picasso insanity? Those two words don’t belong in the same sentence.
> 
> 
> FAIL
> ...


Well, between Picasso and Salvador Dali I'm sure Picasso was the insane one. 
Unless we bring in that Dutch guy who cut his ear off._ LOL_

Maybe I can make a deal with you and buy them from you, and you can buy yourself new clean work tops.
Are they very heavy.
How many pieces of those do you have.

I hope *Redux* will be wiling to go 50/50 with me and sell them to his super wealthy customers.
Win-Win big profits for us, and you will get new work table tops. 
Win-Win-Win:vs_cool: :smile:


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## IKnowNothing (Oct 15, 2020)

I think I will market them under the name: "Abstract Quandry"
Very catchy name for this art work collection by: Fauxlynn, represented by: IKnowNothing Art Pimp Inc.


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

Bored, huh?


That homasote has been hanging there for twenty something years. It’s priceless and not for sale. It’d be like cutting off my arm. Plus, I’m not famous. Nobody wants that homasote. 

Just FYI- Picasso was actually an amazing ‘traditional’ artist but figured out he could make a lot of money giving the people what they wanted. Cubism.


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## Joe67 (Aug 12, 2016)

fauxlynn said:


> Bored, huh?
> 
> 
> That homasote has been hanging there for twenty something years. It’s priceless and not for sale. It’d be like cutting off my arm. Plus, I’m not famous. Nobody wants that homasote.
> ...



I never wanted Cubism. (Maybe I'm just not "people").



And I won't talk art. Because I know nothing about it. (I thought about majoring in it, and realized I couldn't suddenly be creative because it was X time on Monday, or whatever. That's just not inspiring).



But when I retire and move on to my retirement occupations I'm going to see if you're advertising for interns. That stuff if really looking good. Very impressive.


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## IKnowNothing (Oct 15, 2020)

fauxlynn said:


> Bored, huh?
> 
> 
> That homasote has been hanging there for twenty something years. It’s priceless and not for sale. It’d be like cutting off my arm. Plus, I’m not famous. Nobody wants that homasote.
> ...


Bored?
No. Not at all. Just touched by your art. And hoping to get my hands on it.

Everything is for sale, depends on the price. Some insane people even sell their souls. Like Picasso. 
He sold his first love. All just for money. Traitor. 

Cubism. Kitsch art that requires acid tripping in order to grasp even some remote sense of it.

"Nobody wants that homasote."
LOL. Oh,_ please_, now you introducing psychological warfare to the negotiations. 
_Hard to get tactics_.

I know that you would love to see your abstract work hanging next to Picassos and Salvador Dalis in houses of rich people who would be willing to pay big bucks for it.

I hope *Redux* will join us in it.
His connections are massive.

:smile::wink:


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## Redux (Oct 27, 2018)

Looks great!


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## Redux (Oct 27, 2018)

IKnowNothing said:


> Bored?
> No. Not at all. Just touched by your art. And hoping to get my hands on it.
> 
> Everything is for sale, depends on the price. Some insane people even sell their souls. Like Picasso.
> ...


Lynn’s abstract work table is reminiscent of some obscure abstract artwork found in a decrepit detached garage in my neighborhood by a real estate investor who purchased the property shortly after the artist owner’s passing. The artwork by the relatively unknown artist Arthur Panajian almost ended up in a dumpster before being appraised at $30 Million.


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

I added some chatter marks using a 50/50 mix of Golden brand interference gold fine and FauxEffects faux creme with a mottler brush. These need to dry then I’ll topcoat it again.


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

Well that was a mistake. I wiped all that out with a wet paper towel. Then I carefully added a little bit o’ burnt umber to the interference mix and just a placed few marks and blended them out. Another top coat and it’s done.



















Redux- ugh, I was going to respond to your now altered comment but didn’t have time.


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## IKnowNothing (Oct 15, 2020)

Redux said:


> Lynn’s abstract work table is reminiscent of some obscure abstract artwork found in a decrepit detached garage in my neighborhood by a real estate investor who purchased the property shortly after the artist owner’s passing. The artwork by the relatively unknown artist Arthur Panajian almost ended up in a dumpster before being appraised at $30 Million.


Lynn, did you hear that. $30 Million Big ones.
But let's be level headed here and since you are just entering the World of Famous artists of the 21st Century,
let's take the zero out from the $30 Million. 
So now we are left with more realistic $3 Million.

Next step would be to divide this sum. 
Well, that's very easy.
You will get $1 Million.
Redux will get $1 Million.
and I will get $1 Million.
WIN-WIN-WIN

Next step would be for you to take few nice pictures of all your "abstract artsy pieces" without any other objects on them,
and post them here so we can closer assess them.

Lynn. Do you have any plans for your $1 Million Big ones.
I do. 
I'm sure Redux will just add his to his other Millions. 
:smile::wink:


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## IKnowNothing (Oct 15, 2020)

PHENOMENAL work Lynn. Absolutely stunning.!!!
You can call yourself now, Exotic wood forger. 

EXOTIC WOOD FORGERY by: FauxLynn


.


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## Masterwork (Sep 13, 2020)

Can I be the delivery driver? I think we can get $4 million for it, so still $1 million a piece.


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## IKnowNothing (Oct 15, 2020)

Masterwork said:


> Can I be the delivery driver? I think we can get $4 million for it, so still $1 million a piece.


I hope now Mods will not start asking for their cut of the bacon. :vs_mad:


.


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

I can’t figure out how to upload a video so, take my word for it, this experiment didn’t work. The thin veil of interference paint just looks like I dumped glitter paint and tried to clean it up.


I dropped off the sample. It’s out of my hands.
Link to end result:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1M8D0HAVyaqlweyDD_ZT2cYX30qpQJWF2/view?usp=drivesdk


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

I can’t find it now but somewhere in all the comments it was mentioned on how marketing is key.

Yes, it is. I’m a good technician. I’m a lousy business owner and even worse marketer.
If you want to check out the GOAT faux painter self marketer, you could look up my arch nemesis and direct competitor that has kicked my ass for years- Artstar. 

She’s doing exactly what IKnowNothing has suggested. I’m not bitter, I’m envious.
I’m probably going to lose my house in the next six months, maybe I should chop up that homasote and stand on the street corner in Potomac. 

I’ll send you your cut.


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## Joe67 (Aug 12, 2016)

fauxlynn said:


> I can’t figure out how to upload a video so, take my word for it, this experiment didn’t work. The thin veil of interference paint just looks like I dumped glitter paint and tried to clean it up.
> 
> 
> I dropped off the sample. It’s out of my hands.
> ...



It's always hard to tell from a photo or a video. So maybe it's obvious to you being able to observe it directly. But based on the video I don't find the "fail" to be evident. So I'd also at least consider the "you're always your own worst critic" angle. This is probably at least partly because a) we often look at stuff far more closely than the clients; b) we know what we were _trying_ to do; c) we get to see every second what isn't really going the way we'd hoped; d) pride and perfectionism. It obviously depends on the client. They're all so different, but they don't see what we do in the way that we do. I have higher standards than most of the people I do work for.



I recently did a thing in a bizarrely bright yellow color. I screwed up the first coat by not having shaken/stirred well enough. (Uneven pigment distribution - I was in a hurry which never works!). Second coat was depressing because of that. 3rd coat - ok, it still looks like dogsh** but passable for now. But I was out of time so apologized to the client. Said I'll have to stop back for one more coat. She said "I think it looks great." Took a picture and sent it off to the designer who picked the color. That's where it stands. And this is in the front window (the window does actually help) of a very chic, high end clothing store. Many others just don't see what we see...(of course, some also go the other way and have bizarre ideas about what is possible).


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

Hmm, I thought it was pretty clear that there’s a difference between the flash or flip on the real one versus the shiny stripe of glitter on the fake one. 

When it comes to my work, I know when I’ve ‘got it’ and when I didn’t. I’m thinking I should have put an even layer of interference paint and then oil glaze chatter marks on top. Too late. Good experiment. I brought it up again to the designer about a furniture restorer taking a crack at it. She said she’s going to contact the manufacturer, if they’re still in business.


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## Joe67 (Aug 12, 2016)

fauxlynn said:


> Hmm, I thought it was pretty clear that there’s a difference between the flash or flip on the real one versus the shiny stripe of glitter on the fake one.
> 
> When it comes to my work, I know when I’ve ‘got it’ and when I didn’t. I’m thinking I should have put an even layer of interference paint and then oil glaze chatter marks on top. Too late. Good experiment. I brought it up again to the designer about a furniture restorer taking a crack at it. She said she’s going to contact the manufacturer, if they’re still in business.



Ok, yeah. I looked more closely at it again. The faux section of the video was kind of short and the high glossiness was a little distracting. (I'm still going to see if you're advertising for interns when I retire tho).


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

Once I’m a millionaire I will retire. When you retire you could start painting with some Bob Ross videos. That man is magical with a palette knife.


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## Joe67 (Aug 12, 2016)

Bob Ross would be my first choice as a mentor, but uh...yeah. Too late. I still can't *not* watch him if I'm flipping channels and find him on. In addition to crazy palette knife work, so zen.


Of course, if Roy Underhill is still working when I'm ready I'll have to do a stint with him too. Such art and a particularly energetic form of zen (which is a little bit of a contradiction in terms, but not the way he does it).


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## PPD (Mar 19, 2018)

fauxlynn said:


> It looks ok, just don’t think it’s going to flash the way it should. Much of what I’ve done since last post is just layers of the interference and layers of figure, tone. I put an isolation layer of urethane after each step and things are taking forever to dry.
> 
> View attachment 107093
> 
> ...



This is FANTABULOUS lady!! The close-up shots really nail it 

I’m guessing this is still the piece posted prior with the fading & your trying to get the cheyt...well crap, I can’t remember what its called- so we’ll go with “shimmer” from here on out

Have u considered adding a pearl to the isolating layers or top coat to minimize steps & prevent worry about covering the shimmer in your other steps? 

Off the top of my head I’m wondering if MM flash copper might work mixed into their topcoat?....


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## PPD (Mar 19, 2018)

fauxlynn said:


> I can’t figure out how to upload a video so, take my word for it, this experiment didn’t work. The thin veil of interference paint just looks like I dumped glitter paint and tried to clean it up.
> 
> 
> I dropped off the sample. It’s out of my hands.
> ...



Annnddd once again- I was too late 

I’d say u nailed it- especially since the comp is the inside so its not as if they’ll be next to each other when looking at it (can u imagine having to match if it was just a damaged area?! )

Can’t wait to hear what the client says!


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## PPD (Mar 19, 2018)

fauxlynn said:


> I can’t find it now but somewhere in all the comments it was mentioned on how marketing is key.
> 
> Yes, it is. I’m a good technician. I’m a lousy business owner and even worse marketer.
> If you want to check out the GOAT faux painter self marketer, you could look up my arch nemesis and direct competitor that has kicked my ass for years- Artstar.
> ...



100% the absolute WORST ENEMY of any artist and my BIGGEST STRUGGLE. 

The personality of most artists is completely opposite of whats required to be successful in the business end. Going it alone takes a magical combination of Timing/Luck + Fairy Dust + Stepping so far outside ur comfort zone it feels fake. 

One of the 1st pieces of advice I got was
“If u want to survive in this trade (doing what u want to do) find the funds to hire someone to handle your marketing & public profiles. It doesn’t matter how good you are, or what u can offer...theres someone else out there who’s made a name for themselves thru good marketing & they’ll get all the work.”


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## PPD (Mar 19, 2018)

Joe67 said:


> Bob Ross would be my first choice as a mentor, but uh...yeah. Too late. I still can't *not* watch him if I'm flipping channels and find him on. In addition to crazy palette knife work, so zen.
> 
> 
> Of course, if Roy Underhill is still working when I'm ready I'll have to do a stint with him too. Such art and a particularly energetic form of zen (which is a little bit of a contradiction in terms, but not the way he does it).



Asked the Mr why he was obsessively watching sports lately (not a big sports guy) & he said “they never mention trumps name...”

I thought whoa, I need something like that...Bob ross videos it is!!


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## PPD (Mar 19, 2018)

fauxlynn said:


> Hmm, I thought it was pretty clear that there’s a difference between the flash or flip on the real one versus the shiny stripe of glitter on the fake one.
> 
> When it comes to my work, I know when I’ve ‘got it’ and when I didn’t. I’m thinking I should have put an even layer of interference paint and then oil glaze chatter marks on top. Too late. Good experiment. I brought it up again to the designer about a furniture restorer taking a crack at it. She said she’s going to contact the manufacturer, if they’re still in business.



I could feel it in ur video & totally know that feeling...I commend u for being able to send it in, I’m horrible at letting go of that “Its not ready yet!”

BUT- imagine if u added 4 more layers, got it, and then realized what u’d have to charge to even break even


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## PPD (Mar 19, 2018)

@fauxlynn U can come join forces w/ me in san diego ....imagine all the ‘perfectionist’ work we could accomplish if there were 2 of us available ...although it’d prolly be good if one of us was better at the self promotion side of things


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## PPD (Mar 19, 2018)

Is artstar the one run by Kelly Walker? Do u know each other? 

Any chance the 2 of u are in any of the same local business groups, rotary clubs, etc where u could approach her to have coffee & ask if she’s willing to share some tips on how she’s made a name of herself? 

I know the competition factor makes it cringe worthy...had at last 12 plaster masters turn me down for that reason when I was looking to learn. Best case, she drops a few tidbits that could help bolster ur business...worst case, she says no.


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## IKnowNothing (Oct 15, 2020)

fauxlynn said:


> I can’t figure out how to upload a video so, take my word for it, this experiment didn’t work. The thin veil of interference paint just looks like I dumped glitter paint and tried to clean it up.
> 
> 
> I dropped off the sample. It’s out of my hands.
> ...


Looking at your video seems that there is a very thick layer of gloss clear finish with very pronounced orange peel on it.
It's possible that the orange peel is disturbing the light that is hitting the piece and greatly distorts the real effect of your work.

Less shiny and not as thick clear coat (similar to the original piece) would be much better choice.
I hope that customer accepts you work. 
I don't know what equipment and skill level you have in spraying clear coats, but maybe would be good idea 
to have professional shop doing the clear coat spraying if you get the job.

.


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

Yes the gloss and orange peel are not pleasing. The designer revarnished it for me in flat. They know I don’t spray and they don’t want it to leave the house. 🥴 I should have never let a so so sample leave my hands but, reasons.

Anyway I will wet sand it so I’m not worried about it. My biggest hurdle will be to replicate the graining. They want the ‘lines’ the same as they are now.Ha.


BTW- I realized I have twenty years of stir sticks in my workroom, all covered in crazy paint. I’m thinking $300 a piece.


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

PPD said:


> Is artstar the one run by Kelly Walker? Do u know each other?
> 
> Any chance the 2 of u are in any of the same local business groups, rotary clubs, etc where u could approach her to have coffee & ask if she’s willing to share some tips on how she’s made a name of herself?
> 
> I know the competition factor makes it cringe worthy...had at last 12 plaster masters turn me down for that reason when I was looking to learn. Best case, she drops a few tidbits that could help bolster ur business...worst case, she says no.


Oh geez, yes of course we know each other. We have the same former employer and many friends in common. I’ve borrowed her workers from time to time, above board. I know exactly how she came upon her success, but I’m not going to go into it here. 

How do you know her? Or do you, lol?


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

PPD said:


> @fauxlynn U can come join forces w/ me in san diego ....imagine all the ‘perfectionist’ work we could accomplish if there were 2 of us available ...although it’d prolly be good if one of us was better at the self promotion side of things


I hear San Diego is beautiful. But all of my family is on the East Coast. My favorite San Diego story comes from my friend Jan. We used to be gymnastics judges together years ago. Anyway Jan used to live in San Diego and worked for a rental car agency and she would tell us how people would take cars down to Tijuana and not return. She routinely would head down there with a co worker to steal the car back. She was one tough lady and a hell of a gymnast.


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## Joe67 (Aug 12, 2016)

fauxlynn said:


> Oh geez, yes of course we know each other. We have the same former employer and many friends in common. I’ve borrowed her workers from time to time, above board. I know exactly how she came upon her success, but I’m not going to go into it here.
> 
> How do you know her? Or do you, lol?



Well, I'm not going to press you on it. But leaving that dangling like that is just...well, you know...Sounds seedy if you ask me.


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## fauxlynn (Apr 28, 2011)

Oh Joe, it’s nothing nefarious. I already said she’s the GOAT self promoter. She really is. 

To add- Baltimore is a small backward thinking place where when people ask you where you went to school they mean high school. Then you are judged by where you went to school and who you’re friends with. If your not from here, forget it.


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## Joe67 (Aug 12, 2016)

fauxlynn said:


> Oh Joe, it’s nothing nefarious. I already said she’s the GOAT self promoter. She really is.
> 
> To add- Baltimore is a small backward thinking place where when people ask you where you went to school they mean high school. Then you are judged by where you went to school and who you’re friends with. If your not from here, forget it.



:laughing: I'm not from _there_. But yeah. I do get it.


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## PPD (Mar 19, 2018)

fauxlynn said:


> Oh geez, yes of course we know each other. We have the same former employer and many friends in common. I’ve borrowed her workers from time to time, above board. I know exactly how she came upon her success, but I’m not going to go into it here.
> 
> How do you know her? Or do you, lol?



Just from instagram...been following their work for awhile & have definitely noticed how good she is at self promotion. 

Shes 1 of 2 finishers that CONSTANTLY pops up if u search nearly any tag related to finish work. 

Well shoot, u kinda left us hanging there...now I want u to spill some the tea...my DM’s always open if u care to share dirty details


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## PPD (Mar 19, 2018)

fauxlynn said:


> Oh Joe, it’s nothing nefarious. I already said she’s the GOAT self promoter. She really is.
> 
> To add- Baltimore is a small backward thinking place where when people ask you where you went to school they mean high school. Then you are judged by where you went to school and who you’re friends with. If your not from here, forget it.



Oh man thats exactly how it is in Iowa too! If your born & bred then you kinda have a built-in support system of multiple counties.

still trips me out when ppl ask the school question! All i can think is, REALLY?! How old are we & u still care about what high-school I graduated from?!


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